Dear Diary,
The scariest part about all this is that without him, I don't really have a purpose anymore. My goal has always been to be with him but now, that goal is done and I am not sure what to do.
At times, I forget about it all. But then I get small reminders and I suddenly want to break down. I was listening to "Messed up" by Chloe Adams and Once Monsters. I ended up sobbing and crying my eyes out to it. I look back at his messages and want to cry. I hoped that we would be good friends at least but by everyone else's opinion, I don't think he would even bat an eye at me when we return to school.
I don't know. I want to talk to someone, anyone but no one is available. It would be too awkward and make them think that I was insane or something. I spoke to someone and asked for their thoughts. They gave me nothing but "you are obsessed."
I looked back on those texts so much. Does he genuinely want to be my friend? Does he actually care? Everytime I read them or think back, I can't helo but imagine him with an arm around my shoulder, looking at me empathetically. Maybe I am crazy. I can't do this any longer. I am scared.
I don't know what is going to happen. I guess I will keep trying but I don't know. I just don't know.