April 09, 2020

Dear Diary,

I started feeling uncomfortable last three years ago when i was 10 years old. I started feeling like i am alone.

And no one can't understand my feelings. Once, my mom scold me very bad that I break a glass plate. I was too shy and embrassed because she jist scolded me right in front of my sister. She never scolds my devil younger sibling . She is always by my sister's side. She never loved me and cared me. Sometimes , when she says badwprds really bad , I feel very bad and it hurt my feeling . I cant feel it and i cried alone in my room. Actually i dont own a room . So, i cant lock it. When she kept saying that , i yelled at her to stop by crying. She didnt even look at me and said " You are my kid.my daughter.i can.control you.ypu cant tell anything back to me. If you have one word from u i will slap your face. What r u thinking . I cried the whole

 day and didnt stop .i didnt tell her my feeling. Well ,controlling kids?? So can i kill my kid if i have one?i want many questions from me but how asked out. Why does she cant understand me. Mom, you can oder me to do anything.i can do it for u. But pls...pls dont make my feelings hurt. I really love u and u hate me? You always told me not to talk back. Pls be by my side and know.what i feel.just for one time. I kmow that u r a really good mom