Dear Diary,
I don't even know what to do anymore. So I got in a huge fight with a few close friends and stuff. One of them was my ex who hated me after two weeks of dating and lead me on for two months to only break up with me to screw our best friend. She always said I was clingy and stuff. Any who, I made up with the girl my ex screwed. We apologize saying we where both in the world and we should rebuild our friendship again. I also tried to apologize to the others. One said that it was ok and we need to rebuild our bond again. While my ex didn't accept. So like a few days later my ex texted me saying "Doll what did you have to say to me during our chat. "
I told her that "I don't want to tell you plus I forgot a good chunk of it. "
She continues to pester me about it until she said this "Are you just scared? Scared that I will ruin the “friendship” and start another drama? Well all I will say is if you don’t cooperate and just man up and tell me the shit you feel towards me I will just start a drama out of nothing"
It's like, I'm not scared and if that makes me a scared I don't care. Again she bitched at me during the call that, she cried when I was calling her toxic and stuff. It's like, ya I called you toxic because you were I'm sorry that you can't dig your head out of your ass to realise it. So I ended up telling her how I felt because I didn't want more drama shit to go on and stuff, I said
"Alright if you really want to know I will tell you. Ok, one: you snake. You lead me on so much. You kept a dead relationship moving, letting me to think that you still loved me even tho you didn't and you hated me but still acted like my friend. Two: hell you call me pathetic, you start drama over nothing just to get what you want. Three: you are childish too alois so don't you ever turn that word on me when you are childish too. And four: you called me manipulative but you just fucking said to me "if you don't cooperate and man up and tell me the shit you feel towards me I will start drama out of nothing. " That sounds more manipulative than hell."
She responded with "Oh Honey am I the one that turned Ciels friends against her then didn’t want to answer a question on the call? And If Im a snake bitch I dont know what the fuck you are, you’re Beyond the word. I know I led you on but I was scared to break up with your overdramatic ass and HOW THE FUCK AM I CHILDISH BITCH?! I may act childish sometimes but thats to be funny unlike you, you’re just pathetic in general you skank"
In reality, I never turned my friend's real life friends against her. We all talked about what we noticed. I asked them because they known her personally and I was worried for her. Like again, she think she is all high and mighty. I responded with "
I didn't turn her friends against her. I never did. And ya I know I'm over dramatic, but I get over shit. I know I'm childish because that's pretty much my personality. But hey, I told you how I feel about you. Do what you want with the info, but I told you all how I felt. So have a nice day"
She responded with "Yeah sure you fake fucking bitch. Do me a favour and go fucking die Oh and you say you didn’t but WEEEEELL technology you fucking did soooo that makes you a lier too~! Have a “good” day you lying bitch"
I think the most damn thing that hurt me was she was calling shit that wasn't true. She told me to go die. She pretty much shit talked me on her live to a lot of people with our one friend. Every fucking day that's to her I feel like complete shit and I can't get over the fact on what she said. Im terrified to love and to make new friends. I lash out because I'm scared, I've been wronged so many times and it hurts. Idk what else to do anymore. I'm trying to love again but it's slowly working away at me. She also bitched at me saying "Oh how do you fall in love with someone after 2 days of knowing them" Like we broken up so stop getting on my tail about it. It sucks and I can't stand it.