August 07, 2019

 

  • Dear Diary, I'm so fucking sick of the loneliness. I'm sick of feeling like I'm a live-in maid.  Like a roommate. The lack of intimacy in my marriage has made me so fucking bitter. I feel so unattractive and unwanted. I have 0 friends and the only person I can have a mature conversation with is my 13 year old daughter. I can't burden her with my problems so I try to smile and hide my pain. I try to make myself feel better by saying " at least he isn't abusive." This is a horrible way to live. I have so many hopes and dreams and he says he's onboard with them but I'm pretty sure he's only telling me what I want to hear. I try to look forward to the future even though I know we don't really have one of those. I just really wish I had a friend to talk to. 

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