Dear Diary,
My husband and I have been in a bad place for months. He has been lying, cheating, being disrespectful and mean. He is mentally and physically abusive, but today when he said he wanted a divorce, I felt sad. Why? Why do I still love this man that's become terrible? Maybe this will be a blessing in disguise. I will know soon enough.
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I second JD... I think you are right..
Coming from a dark place of a failed marriage and the things we do to hold on to just anything in the hopes it will one day get better... one day. My "one" day unfortunately never came and i realized holding on for all the wrong reasons was slowly destroying me, my children and i needed to accept that i could no longer convince myself that it was going to get any better. The physical abuse i endured was nothing compared to the emotional day to day let downs. Knowing the man you married is sharing himself with someone other than you...i still shudder just remembering how it made me feel when he would then come home and want any kind of intimacy as if it were my duty. I made the choice to save myself, my children whatever it was that i had left of me and end my 10 yr nightmare. It's been 13 yrs and while yes it did scar me it also made me so much stronger. You still love him because your still searching for the man that existed when you first met. I'm here to tell you he is no longer the same man that you probably couldn't get enough of in the beginning. Sadly, that man walked out on you a long time ago now it's time for you to do the same.
"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart."
— William Wordsworth
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