Dear Diary, I'm not used to sharing my thoughts with others but why not, I'm sad and depressed because I miss him so much and I don't know why sometimes, but I love him more than anything else in the world, people talk shit about it all the time and I don't care, but I still wonder why I could forgive what he's done to me, I mean there are limits on what you should forgive and I'm not really sure if I should have forgiven him for that. I I don't know how I can ever sleep beside him ever again because all I'm going to think about is (am I going to die tonight), it kills me to know that the man I love now scares me and I'm not afraid of anything, the cheating and name calling and all of the other awful things I've dealt with I can deal with because people make mistakes and if you love them you will forgive them at least that's how I look at things sometimes, I'm stuck and lost and I need to pull myself out of this, but I don't know how! Hopefully I'll know how soon because I can't take much more of this heartache and anxiety.