March 13, 2019
I look at our conversations and they always make me smile, no matter how much it hurts. We never fought, we never argued, yet we fell apart. I still don't understand that, but for you, I'm willing to let go. As long as I know you're happy, I'll be happy too.
The pain is unbearable, I can't stand it. My mind is a dam and my thoughts are the rushing flood, mercilessly streaming down the hill and ready to break me. I'm overflowing, there are cracks in my facade. Soon there will be nothing left to hold.
You say "hello" after a painful silence. Despite our distance I feel like you're here again. And then the silence comes back like a boomerang, only this time it's ten times worse. You've given me hope, but hope seems only like a four letter word at this point. I know you have to taste the salt to love the sweet, but I'm drowning in the sea of salty tears, land nowhere in sight.
I want to learn to hate you, yet there's nothing to hate. It's frustrating how you effect me, what you can do to me with no effort at all. Baby I don't want to go to bed angry.
I want to be loved
<No love will ever be enough>
I want to feel loved
<If it's not from you it isn't worth it>
I want to feel important
<Nobody cares enough to ask>
I want to be left alone
<I miss you.. I need you>
I'm in turmoil
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