Dear Diary,
I'm feeling very grateful today. I was thinking about my parents and how much love I feel for them.
I didn't always feel like this. I remember a few years ago, hurling my mother's pearls around the room when I couldn't control the anger and then scrambling around to gather them from the floor when I heard her car screech around the corner of the lane.
For the love of God, I couldn't understand how my parents, my perfect parents, could make stupid decisions about their child's life. It shattered me to think that they wouldn't let their lifelong straight A-allrounder kid to fly away, because they had some 'reservations' about my capabilities.
Meanwhile the attention whore of my class, ms.i -carry-a-blade-in -my-pouch-so-i-can-slit-my-wrists-whenever-i-wish , got to go wherever she wanted, as according to her,her parents 'trusted' her. If all I had done in my life up until then, wasn't enough to prove things to my folks, I didn't know what would. I don't even want to recollect the agony I felt those days, the betrayal of my parents, of all the opportunities I was being denied because they just wouldn't let go of me. I pledged I wouldn't look at them the same way ever again.
But over the years, things have changed. I have grown up and I have understood that even our parents are humans, not super humans like we used to think when we were little. That means even they make mistakes and as kids it is best if we can open our hearts enough to forgive them and love them no matter what. Becauss one day they'll leave us and inspite of everything that's happened, we'll miss them.
Life has become easier the moment I made that decision. I still remember what my mom said when I got into the car, to move out for the first time. ' I hate that you're leaving, but it's better this way'. I wish we didn't have to part like that, because the reason she said that has to do with other things apart from missing me ; I wish things weren't like that.
Looking back, I don't know how I would've turned out if my parents had made a different decision. I don't know if I would've been better off or not, I'd never know. I never think about it. All I think about is my present. And I try to live it as well as I can. I've met people with such horrible stories that I wonder why did their parents even bring them to this earth, if they were going to treat them like crap.Literally.
Hearing those stories, I realise how lucky I have been to be born as my parent's child. They support me in everything I do, and I know they do things only out of love ,even if they're mistakes.
I love you, mom and dad. I miss you. God bless you both.