November 25, 2021 - dream, again


Following what I wrote the other day. Ironically, I dreamt about him again last night. And it got even worse. The dream was even more vivid than the last two dreams. In the dream, I found out that he has been keeping my old stuffs in his drawers, things like my old diary, stories I used to write as a kid and our old camera where I took videos of my childhood before we moved. I don't know how he got his hands on it. Embarrassed, I wanted to take everything back but if I did, he would've known. So, I went to his place instead. 

He was living in a dorm, his room didn't have any walls for some reason. He told me that he had class that afternoon and it wasn't the right time to visit him. I said I wasn't going to be there for too long, just for a bit. The mood was strange, we were bantering and lowkey flirting like we used to. Then he ruined it, "You know it's funny because someone else was supposed to come here today too. I don't know why everyone's coming for me today." That snapped me out of the mood. 

On my way home, I thought to myself, "This is exactly why I fell out of love and why I'll never fall for him again". I wasn't angry or disappointed at him but I guess I was jaded. When you're not treated like you're supposed to, it's the little things they do makes you slowly fall out of love..until you decide that you have enough.