November 09, 2019 Home 1

 

Sup diary, 

So last week I moved back home. I had a great farewell at office. I wasnt expecting it, but they were nice to me. Later, my friends and I stayed back and we talked shit about other people for 3 hours. Lol,it was good that they were all away...Akshay reminded me that I was the first person to talk to him and bhavna when they came to office the first time..i thought , really?...the electricians and officeboys came and took a selfie with me after cake cutting. Later when I reached back to my pg, I saw a message from srikar. He said the same thing as Akshay. He even attached a quote at the end,'Dreams become meaningful when you attach goals to them'...or something like that...I felt a weird sense of peace and happiness at that time..I smiled..I sometimes get lost in thought thinking, what is my place on this earth? What am I here for? Will I achieve any of my big goals.?...and so on. 

In times like these, i think,...maybe I'm here for these little things, maybe I won't achieve any of those big things,..but in some corner of the world, someone will remember me for making them comfortable on their first day of work. And I'm happy for that. 

Well, to be honest, I was taught in etiquette class, that you have to smile at people when you cross them, say good morning to them when you come first thing in the morning, talk to the folks at work so that you can make them feel welcome and friendly. So yes, these habits come out of me mechanically. But once you realise the effects it makes on others, thers no reason to stop doing them. Maybe they're scared, or angry or frustrated or sad or lonely inside, and a smile or a greeting is all it takes to lift their mood. We never know what someone is going through. It doesn't hurt to be nice to people...It's always nice to keep a smile on the face.


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4 days at home has been pretty meh. I tried to have a mature conversation with mom about certain things last night and it was a disaster. What's the problem with us? Communication gap? Generation gap?What is it? I think I'll give up now. 

I like to be a rational and mature individual. I dont like fighting. I like to break down issues, discuss them part by part. It's easier to resolve misunderstandings that way when we go step by step. I hate when people dont speak up and make up assumptions in their head. I love it when people speak shit right to my face rather than talk to me inside their head. because that opens up space for dialog and communication.I think it was stupid of me to fantasise such situations between family members. We'll all play the,.'i think she thinks i think' till we die. 


Idk. I'm a little scared about million things. I was scared about my floaters, but the doc checked and said, its okay they are benign. Yesterday, I was so pissed off at night after the conversation, then at some point I brought up the fashion app with Arihant. I thought it was a stupid thing at first,and certainly I would be stupid if I thought i could make something out of it, but today I sat down with pen and paper and gave it a try. I was surprised. Ideas came out of hand quickly. And i felt so happy in the process. All my frustration went away.  


Sometimes all you have to do is work even if its something silly, in order to keep idle thoughts at bay. ...

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Can you believe it? Tomorrow is Saturday. Who knew. That's what happens when you stop working. You dont know dayss passing. You no longer pine for weekends. 


I want to do 1 more project before I close my college apps. This time, i want it to be a little more cerebrally involving. Lol, i like how it sounds. Something to impress the adcom. 

But like many other things, I'm totally lost on how to proceed with it. Maybe i'll sit down with a pen and paper and try. Or maybe i'll walk you through it, and maybe i'll get a eureka moment. Hhah..


Goodnight diary! 

PEACE out

Sayonara.. ! 

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